Of Course You Should....

We've all heard this phrase before, either from a well meaning friend or a not so well meaning frenemy (more to follow on frenemies later), usually followed by some action that you know you should not follow through with. These actions may include anything from charging that Sky dress on your already stretched Amex, making that 4th meal mission, or boning that random. What that friend/frenemy is actually doing is what I like to call ENABLING.

Don't misunderstand me though, I'm all for the enabling friend. One needs these people chanting "DRINK BITCH DRINK" to drown out that little voice in the back of your head telling you to put down that bottle of patron, when you know for a fact that you NEED IT! A true enabling friend won't only lead the chant but they'll be there shot in one hand and lime in the other, taking a step down to help you take a step up. The key is to have a tight knit network of enablers, as to always have one available in your time of need. Someone that won't chastize you for dragging them to Sushi complete with 3 or 4 bottles of saki on wedensday night or even better yet someone who takes the initiative regardless of the commute they may have to endure to drag you to sushi on wedensday night.

The enabling frenemy is what you must be concerned about, this person will enable only to make themselves feel better. A few examples of this would be if you find that person convincing you to a buy a dress that is obviously too small, offering to buy you a shot of jager while they remain sober, or suggesting you hook up with your bff's ex while she is not around. BEWARE!!!! Although it may tempting to take that free shot, think of it as the apple that snow white was given... and who knows when your prince may come along.

Sacking up and being a big girl

Admitting you are wrong sucks. Who wants to admit that you were a stupid fool and lied about something ridiculous? NOBODY! We have all been guilty of this and have been caught lying for a multitude of reasons big and small. The most important thing is how you sack up, admit you were wrong, and how much time passes before you do so.

Most of us aren't willing to own up to our false stories until we know for sure that the person we lied to has either found out about it or will find out about it. Now, I don't think its right to lie but...if you have already told a lie, or you are not in danger of anyone finding out about it, and its not really going to hurt anybody, then why not keep it to yourself? For one, your friends are your friends for a reason, mostly because you enjoy each others company, you trust them and have history with them, and love them unconditionally and vice-versa. You shouldn't have to lie to your friends, they have already accepted you for who you are. You shouldn't be judged by your friends and you shouldn't judge your friends for their actions. If they ask for your opinion you can give it to them but that is all it should be, your opinion! You shouldn't be forcing your morals down their throat and they should not be afraid to confide in you for fear of your disapproval.

If you do get caught lying to your friends or you just can't live with yourself and can not continue lying to everyone, then you should really jump into high gear and learn to handle it like a big girl. Here are a few ways to help to resolve the situation:

1. Admit it -
Sack up and own it. Come right out and say what you did and why you did it. It's important to be really honest and not to "beat around the bush" with it. Obviously, your friend is not going to be happy you lied to them but they will be even more pissed if they find out you're making up another lie to cover the last one.

2. APOLOGIZE -
Do I really need to explain? Say you're sorry! A REAL sorry, not one of those "Well I'm sorry you feel that way sorries." You can take those sorries and shove them up your passive aggressive ass, asshole! Your friends don't have to forgive you and they surely won't if you come with a half hearted apology that you didn't mean!

3. Actions speak louder than words -
So you apologized and maybe made a few promises to change, promises that things would be different and that you would act differently should a similiar situation present itself. Now its time for you to prove yourself! Take interest in the lives of the people you lied to, show them you care about them by being there for them, and try trusting them. It's up to you to repair the damage you did to the relationship.

4. Take action in a timely manner -
If you have gotten caught lying you need to take action to diffuse the situation immediately. The more time that passes between your lies coming to light and you admitting to them or taking responsibility for them the worse off things will be. This period of time will serve as a time for your mutual friends to "gang up on you" and begin gossiping about your stories. If you're a regular storyteller, this means trouble! What you don't realize is that in this period of time more of your "un-truths" are likely to come up and your character will come into question. No one likes to admit to lies but they will NOT go away "in time" and will not be forgotten. Don't waste time because you're embarrassed, things will get worse and in the end you will lose, not your friends. As you all should know by now, there is no glory in losing.

Fill you life with glory

Life is a battle and a career, you're most likely going to live a long time so why not make it a long and glorious career? It is your field of battle, don't you want to win glory on it?

If you're going to be a hot mess on the regular and everyone knows it, you're going to have "Messpectations" to live up to; spending your nights partying, your mornings waking up with a random, and your afternoons rehabbing like a professional, bloody mary in hand. Rinse, lather, and repeat if necessary. If you're a GLORIOUS mess, one of those randoms might put out and give you 5 letters, a few examples of these 5 letters would be: Purse, Gucci, Prada, Fendi, Louis, Chloe, Dolce, and Coach. And for what? Because you rule, you won, and managed to make them feel like it was their idea. When you're good, shoudn't there be a bonus?

If you're going to suck at life, be the best at it. Leave a legacy of glory that is impossible for people to live up to. Don't just be a friend, be a GLORIOUS friend and set bars in the friendship department. If you need to flash a boob to get a friend out of a situation, do it! If on New Years day the opportunity arises to get naked with friends in a jacuzzi, bring bubbles and make the water turn grAY! It will be a great story to tell and honestly, Is there a better way to start out the New Year?

In all my glory,

The Alleged Ringleader

My personal thoughts on Glory

Let me begin with this; There is NO glory in losing. In order to obtain, sustain, and maintain all that is glorious one must be winning at this thing we call life. As you will see in our future posts, my fellow contributors and I strive to live by these words.

We look forward to sharing our thoughts, views, rants and raves with all who care to read them.

Gloriously Yours,

Lilo