I'll do my best to not make this a novel post but no promises. We arrived in Cabo without any incident other than having to be up at 6am and needing to make it to the airport for Burger King (where I got free hash brown nugs = BONUS)and Bloody Marys. Checked into our glorious hotel and started getting down to business with the booze.
A quick survey of the hotel scene led me to believe that there were nothing but couples staying there which meant no visible boning options - time to head to town to scout. Unfortunately their were only locals in town so I settled for some shrimp tacos and we went back to the hotel to regroup and plan for the night. Blah Blah Blah no one in town blah shots of tequila blah blah The Ringleader didn't feel good blah blah blah time for bed. Night One = FAIL!
Okay so now to the point of this rambling - Day two we hit the pool, me in my "Swallow Bitch Swallow" hat with margaritas in hand.
A quick survey of the hotel scene led me to believe that there were nothing but couples staying there which meant no visible boning options - time to head to town to scout. Unfortunately their were only locals in town so I settled for some shrimp tacos and we went back to the hotel to regroup and plan for the night. Blah Blah Blah no one in town blah shots of tequila blah blah The Ringleader didn't feel good blah blah blah time for bed. Night One = FAIL!
Okay so now to the point of this rambling - Day two we hit the pool, me in my "Swallow Bitch Swallow" hat with margaritas in hand.
Both hands at times. The mystical magical powers of the hat began to work in our favor and the boning Gods presented us with three (3) count it ah-out 1,2,3 boys! Any of whom my Britney would have graciously invited in. There was LoveMeSomeMe, who informed us he was living in Italy, had maids in New York, and that he was funding this trip. He complained alot. Complained about the hotel, his Burberry shorts, and just about everything else. Then there was New York who had the most glorious accent and made me giggle every time he said balls or bwalls as it sounded. Finally there was Cabana boy who slept alot and made drink & cig runs for us. LoveMeSomeMe started the conversation by trying to JOO me out of my hat which was not going to happen, I wanted to bone him but was pretty sure I'd have to do all the work and then sit through a lengthy critique of my performance so my 2nd choice was New York. We drank all day with them while I got my ass toasted by the harmful rays of the sun so much so that we were useless drunken lobsters that night.
The non-bonus bonus was that the water in their ocean front room was not working. So they were given a jacuzzi suite home of all things GrAY water related down on the first floor below our room. However, the jacuzzi was broken so when the water came on in their old room the boys decided to stay there. I guess I should mention that we got invited to their jacuzzi suite after I flashed them my boobs from our 4th floor room. Ya I know I rule.
You know who else rules? My Britney, she went on a mini tirade and some things I learned from her are that she likes the cold tile in the hotel room floor, it feels nice. She also likes to be covered in dresses that are actually shirts sans panties, cuz you know she's gotta breathe too. My Britney also thinks that The Ringleader sucks, because The Ringleader thinks that dresses that are really shirts are embarrassing to be seen with and would rather be lame and lay in bed than sit at the bar with us, how am I suppose to get boned if my only wing man is the Swallow Bitch Swallow hat? Night two = FAIL!
I give up one can only fail so much in one post... Stay tuned for more from our trip including:
Our Continued Failing
The Grimy Working Girl Shakedown
Meeting the Mayor of El Squid Roe & The Original Park, No More Trailer
The non-bonus bonus was that the water in their ocean front room was not working. So they were given a jacuzzi suite home of all things GrAY water related down on the first floor below our room. However, the jacuzzi was broken so when the water came on in their old room the boys decided to stay there. I guess I should mention that we got invited to their jacuzzi suite after I flashed them my boobs from our 4th floor room. Ya I know I rule.
You know who else rules? My Britney, she went on a mini tirade and some things I learned from her are that she likes the cold tile in the hotel room floor, it feels nice. She also likes to be covered in dresses that are actually shirts sans panties, cuz you know she's gotta breathe too. My Britney also thinks that The Ringleader sucks, because The Ringleader thinks that dresses that are really shirts are embarrassing to be seen with and would rather be lame and lay in bed than sit at the bar with us, how am I suppose to get boned if my only wing man is the Swallow Bitch Swallow hat? Night two = FAIL!
I give up one can only fail so much in one post... Stay tuned for more from our trip including:
Our Continued Failing
The Grimy Working Girl Shakedown
Meeting the Mayor of El Squid Roe & The Original Park, No More Trailer
4 comments:
First of all, the "Swallow Bitch Swallow" hat rules!
I totally so did fail. I suck at life somedays.
Whats a swallow bitch swallow hat? Is like a fish on top of your head or something?
shirts as dresses are my uniform, duh. also, I am typing this from my desk wearing a questionably low cut dress...at work. tee hee.
Shirts as dresses are acceptable on weekends and especially on vacations.
Yay for flashing!
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