Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
Today, he followed up with me via e-mail thanking me for making the event MAY-JAH and said "Let's get in touch next week" in reference to dinner at Mexicali.
So basically, I'm planning the St. Regis Wedding...
Thursday, January 24, 2008
We prefer the kind of photo shoot that exists strictly for posting on MySpace and Facebook so that all of our stalkers and frenemies can see how much FUN we're having and DUH, how awesome we look. It's important to have these photo shoots because you know that an ex-friend or ex-boyfriend will eventually make the rounds and see you in your best casual pose. For me that picture is taken of my left side, holding a cocktail, head tilted slightly, sporting my signature sneaky grin with huge dimples, and most importantly my hair tossled like perfect post-romp bed head, the BEST you could ever have! Right there, you have your new default pic. You know its a REALLY good default by the # of profile views you're getting per day. People aren't leaving comments or anything, just rolling and hating. To those MySpace/Facebook lurkers I say lay off:
Sometimes photo shoots are pre-planned, such as for someone's birthday party at insert hot club, restaurant, or hotel of the moment, or a night out on the town where we KNOW there is a really pretty fountain, a bright red wall that will make our skin look flawless, or just an amazing backdrop/view. For those nights we usually have plenty of time to plan to work out and be "pretty and skinny," choose the perfect outfit, take the time to blow dry our hair out, perfectly apply our make-up and practice striking our best pose prior to the first of many flashbulbs going off.
And sometimes you have the impromptu photo shoot while crawling down Hollywood Blvd after a rough night and decide you should lay down next to the walk of fame star that was tagged 'Satan'
AKA - the photo shoot where you're not looking your best but, to anyone stalking your MySpace it's obvious you're having a great time. Then the haters wil start spreading the word of your newfound love of frolicking with crack whores or your "muffin top" from laying in an unflattering way. Either way, no publicity is bad publicity right?
The last and quite possibly MOST IMPORTANT part of taking GREAT pictures for us is the phrase we use in lieu of everyone say "cheese." Our phrase is so glorious that once people hear it, they repeat it and use it because it works. I'm often asked to take group photos by random middle-aged women, club-whores, sorority girls, or tourists out on the town and it NEVER FAILS to take a great picture because it gets people to think about the way they want to look in the picture.
- 1st you make sure everyone is ready.
- You say "Ok, everyone look skinny and pretty"
- Then everyone laughs and IMMEDIATELY starts sucking in their guts or strategically placing their handbag over a flabby arm or tummy.
- Then you say ready on 3 "skinny and pretty" 1 -2-3
VOILA! Picture perfect.
Thank me later AH's.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Now, anyone that knows anything about the restaurant scene in LA knows that Thursday nights are big nights at all the hot restaurants. It's nearly impossible to get reservations anywhere great between 7p - 10p. When I was asked to make it happen I was weary and they KNOW me at Ago. I call up and am offered a 9:30p reservation in the wine room (which is their private dining room in the back) - its a beautiful room but you don't see much of the action back there...Unless of course it's my birthday dinner where I have to have that space to accomodate my large party, and of course the entire cast of Californication is seated there sharing the room with us. We decided 9:30p would not work because A: I had a newbie coming and wanted them to see the action in the main dining area and B: it was too late. So I called the hostess back told her we would need to cancel and re-schedule for next week at an earlier time. She then called me by my name and said, "What time did you want?" I told her "8 or 8:30" and she confirmed me in the main dining room at 8pm. AMAZING! + 2 famousity points.
I'm used to getting special attention when I go to Ago. When I walk in there, the Manager, Maitre D, Servers, and Bartenders all make a huge fuss and its kiss/kiss, Bella this, and Bella that. They seriously love me over there or at least make me feel that way!! Last night we ran into Kenneth "Babyface" Edmunds dining with friends, Linda Thompson (Brody Jenner's mom and Elvis' ex girlfriend) dining with Natalie Cole (who btw has flawless skin), Mariah Carey, and Robert Knepper from Prison Break (who checked me out and if you watch the show you'll know why I felt dirty and jeebed out from that.)
Last night was full of glory. Since I didn't hear any of the special appetizers I love such as: Kobe beef carpaccio with fontina cheese, tuna tartare, or tuna carpaccio - I had to ask for them anyways. My server informed me that he would have the kitchen make me a beef carpaccio with fontina cheese and as an added bonus he added shaved black truffles to make the dish, extra special and it was FREE of charge +5 famousity points. He knows I LOVE black truffles, it ruled. In addition to that we also had the margherita pizza, Ago is known for their thinkn crust pizza's in their wood burning oven
Next I was deciding on which wine to order. I asked my server, Saverio what to do since I was between two bottles? Go with the Pio Cesare or the Vietti? He replied that I should do the Pio Cesar (of course it was $130 instead of $85 for Vietti) his reason was that I always go with Vietti with my meal...+2 famousity points, it's good that he knows exactly which bottle out of 1000 bottles that I get the most frequently.
Now for the entree, last night I went with the speical which was a Lamb Shank Risotto, it was soooo delicious. My friends ordered my usual dishes: The Rigatoni Alla Contadina which is rigatoni with pancetta, onions, and tomatoes and bursts of flavor in your mouth as well as the Gnocchetti with the meat ragu sauce for the table to share. My other friend opted for the Maine Lobster Risotto, ehhh I'm not a shellfish fan but she loved it.
Between courses we were being interrupted by the servers, managers, and the maitre d checking on me and how my new year is going and wondering why its been at least a month since I have been in. All the other patron's (celebs included) were staring at us wondering who I was. Motherf*cking VIP that's who.
At the end of the meal the 3 of us wanted a cigarette but none of us had any. I asked Saverio if they sold cigs at Ago and he replied "How many do you need? I'll take care of you." I replied "3, please." He came back to the table, handed us cigarettes and a lighter and by the time we got back to the table he had an array of desserts for us. Seven to be exact, all FREE and they normally cost $10 each, +2 more famousity points - who doesn't love free?? I then took a shot of limocello with the table and was nicely faded after 3 peach martini's, 1 bottle of wine, and 1 shot of limoncello.
At this point of fadedness, Babyface got up to leave and was walking past my table. I thought it was appropriate to give him a shout out, so I told him that 'back in the day' I used to bump "Two Occassions" and do all sorts of nasty things to it. I then followed up that comment with my signature idiot freakin dork move which was: make a fist and then two bumps to my chest followed by a peace sign. I know - 2 points for that LOL.
If you love Italian food and live in LA, you NEED to go to Ago Restaurant! They have one in Miami but it is just not as good as the one in LA. All of their pastas are made fresh, daily. The gnocchetti/gnocchi is so soft and delicious - they are little pillows of glory. I take many clients to Ago and recommend it to people all of the time, I have NEVER heard anything but good things back from everyone I have sent there.
At 2:40am Stockholm time he sends me the following message: I feel like Linus in Peanuts and Brrrrholm has a cloud over my head.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
For those of you that do not know what I do for work, I am a travel agent. Not just any travel agent, but a sought after travel agent extraordinaire. My job has a lot of bonus perks and gives me the opportunity to "work" and do research in exotic locales while sipping fruity cocktails complete with umbrella's (ella ella ay ay ay) in them. It's a rough life, what can I say? Out of the many countries I visit, I discover the things I love most and the luxuries I have become accustomed to when roughing it in 5 star hotels such as: european frette linens, double pillowtop mattresses, huge soaking bathtubs with separate stand up showers, butler service, and unobstructed views of the ocean, city skylines, and famous statues or monuments all from the comfort of my suite.
In addition to learning about all of the wonderful amenities I enjoy having at my disposal, comes the realization of the little things I miss having at home in LA. The things I <3> about the USA.
1. Toilet seat covers. This should NOT be a luxury, who sits on bare toilet seats in public restrooms in strange countries? No one! This means you usually have to either make your own seat cover out of toilet paper or bust out with the squat move. Neither of which are easy to do when drunk off your ass. When I'm drunk, I try to squat & usually end up falling on the toilet seat that I've just managed to piss all over while squatting, GROSS!
2. Free refills. I'm a thirsy mofo! Living in the USA, we have supersized drinks and free refills on non-alcoholic beverages and I take full advantage of anything free! In foreign countries, they give you 1 can of diet coke and its $5 - you just have to learn to make it last the entire meal because paying another $5 for a can of soda is ludicrous.
3. Restaurant ratings. I don't know if this is just a "LA thing" but boy do I appreciate the sign on the door that says "This establishment received an A or B rating at the time of inspection." You don't even have to walk inside to know whether or not you want to eat there. It saves you looking like an assh*le when you walk into a restaurant and notice something like a vermin infestation or swarm of flies and decide to walk out. The natives give you a look like you're a p*ssy for not being able to stomach vermin.
4. We lack really smart insects. Why is it that anywhere you go outside of the US the insects are genius? You should really be able to leave pastries and glorious treats you bought yourself out in the refridgerator, the microwave, or plastic bag they came in without having to worry about reaching in there for a treat and having your hand molested by a swarm of military trained midget ants that have taken over your leftovers. The mosquitos should also care and take the hint that you do not wish to have your blood sucked when you spend an extra 30 minutes lubing yourself up with OFF.
5. Do not disturb. When you hang the DND or NO MOLESTAR sign on your doorknob it means "do not knock on door, do not make-up room, do not turn down bed, do not enter!" For some reason the maids don't get this. They see it as "they must have gone out and forgotten to take the sign off, surely they want me to molest their room." The reason they see it like that is that they are paid on the # of rooms they service and the # of times per day. So in poor/3rd world countries, come hell or gray water they will go in there & service your room. If you complain they will say the DND sign must have fallen off the knob and then you will REALLY pay when they find new ways to molestar your toothbrush.
So far those are the things I noticed that really bother me about not being in the US while on this vacation. Obviously the tequila and fajitas I'm ingesting while sitting poolside far outweigh the minor irritations and luxuries of home.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Friday, January 4, 2008
- Have a few shots to go along with my cocktail of choice, Belvedere & Soda.
- Sign up for karaoke in a group form with my other single friends such as Lilo.
- Sing "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls.
- Emphasize the Oooooohh, Oooooooh, Ooooooohhhh's in the song.
Who knows if I would actually do this, I have been known to get up there and sing only when the songs and/or performance would merit lots of laughs, and I think this would fit into the funny realm of songs to do. In the past I have sang karaoke to: Baby Got Back, My Humps, and Dontcha and they all turned out pretty well.
Stay tuned to find out whether I touch myself or someone else does.