Seven Deadly Sins

Douchegirl tagged The Ringleader with this but because I'm at work and read it first I'm stealing the tag.

WRATH
1. Who did you last get angry with?
My Roomie for waking me up partying with his friends and some random broads at 4:30am on a Thursday night/Friday morning.

2. What is your weapon of choice?
The knife I carry in my purse or my death glare.

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
Yes. Sometimes I have batshit tendencies.

4. How about of the same sex?
Duh.

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
I honestly don't know. Most people keep it to themselves when they are mad at me.

6. What is your pet peeve?
Lying liars who lie followed by flakey flakers who flake.

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
I'm in it for the long run. I remember EVERYTHING.

SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you don't?
Walk my dog.

2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
4pm

4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
That I had to go check on my dog to get out of doing something.

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
Yes, many of late nights.

6. When was the last time you got in a good workout?
I had a crazy round of sex about a week ago. Does that count?

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
Once but I didn't go back to bed today.

GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
A Pear Martini or A Mocha frappacino if we are rolling sans alcohol

2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat??
White meat all the way.

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
Well there was my first year of college which I consider one sitting but if we are going to be technical it would probably have to be New Year's Day 2007. Beer, champagne, jello shots, bonus beer pong with Cap'n Morgan shots in place of beer and a whole lot of grAY water.

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
I've half assed tried Weight Watchers.

5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
Yes, hence the FitMess plan

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy?
Salty.

7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought "lunch"?
Delicious Puppy Meat.

LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family):
DAMNIT! No one told me I was suppose to be keeping track.... Def more than a 100

2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family):
Approx. 1,673.25 Ya I'm the naked girl.

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of the opposite gender during a normal conversation?
Yes I have.

4. Have you ever kissed two people in one night?
Yes I have. Among other things.

5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
Back, mostly because I like to run my nails across is.

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
No.

GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own?
Two

2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
The Adult toy store.

3. Would you rather be rich, or famous?
Rich.

4. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
Yes, I can spend hours doing sudoku.

5. Have you ever stolen anything?
No but when I was a checker at pharmacy in high school I use to pretend scan items to my friends.

6. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
A few hundred.

PRIDE
1. What's one thing you have done that you're most proud of?
Kept my puppy alive for this long.

2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
Bought my first home.

3. What things would you like to accomplish in your life?
Graduate from college and trap a 401k plan top the list of to do's.

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?

If you aren't first you are LAST

5.Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?

Every day of my life.

6.Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?

Maybe a high school test or two.

7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
I woke up, showered, and made it to work on time. Mostly the showering though.

ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
Does it count if I wanted a friend to belong to me?

2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?

No One. My house is perfect the way it is.

3.If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?

An Heiress

4. Have you ever been cheated on?
That would require me to have had been in an exclusive relationship. So no....

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?

Yes. Washboard abs would be nice.

6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?

The ability to handle others emotions with more sensitivity.

I tag Alice

Roomie Meet Emo Boy

ALTERNATE TITLE : A Post That Could Not Wait Til Morning

I logged into myspace tonight for the first time in a few weeks and to my surprise there was a message from Emo Boy.

June 6, 2008

"Hey homie. We should hang out soon. See what you've been up to. Its been a while so text me up when you get a chance. XXX-XXX-XXXX.Hope to hear from ya soon mofo nukka :)"

I've known Emo Boy for about 3 years we use to hook up pretty often during the first year but nothing serious. We hang out from time to time but the last time I saw Emo Boy was probably 6 months ago when I went to see his "band" play and at the time he had a very eccentric girlfriend. Think Candy Raver meets Slipknot. My Spidey sense was telling me that they must have broken up so I texted him and invited him over. Turns out not only did they break up but he has since relocated within 5 miles of my house. BONUS! (Before you get your hopes we did NOT hook up. Sorry to disappoint) We chilled, caught up and made a quick mission for Cap'n Crunch Shakes from Carl's Jr. things were going well.

****

I should probably mention at this point that Emo Boy is about 6'2, is a trainer, has a lip piercing, a tattoo on the inside of his bottom lip, longer hair that is died black, bleach blond, and I'm pretty sure I saw some red poking out from under the ridiculous straw hat he was wearing. So not exactly what one would call "clean cut" or "normal".

****

Enter the Roomie coming back from a concert and obviously intoxicated. The look on his face when he saw Emo Boy was enough to make me seriously consider investing in security cameras just so that I could have had it on film. At that point it was getting late so I took Emo Boy home before he started noticing my Roomies incessant stares. En route to his house we were chatting about his job as a TRAINER so I asked if he thought I could lose 10lbs by August if I started training with him. His response "10lbs? Easy. I'll make you dime piece by then" So I am meeting with him Friday night after work at his gym to set it up. A few sessions a week at the gym hopefully followed by a few sessions a week in a bed and I think I could get use to this FitMess business. The night ended with a hug and a kiss. Very G rated I know, but that is what happens when you are rolling sans alcohol.

All I wanted was my check cashed

On Friday, during my lunch break, I had to go and get a check cashed at a bank other than my own. I was negative funds in my checking account as the limo company I dealt with in Miami charged my debit card $400 for limo rides we paid cash for. So, I had my grandparents send me a check until I am credited back. Anyways, I wait in line to get the checked cashed and the teller informs me that they cannot cash my check because my drivers license is EXPIRED!

WHAT? I didn't even get any notice from the DMV in the mail and this is a perfect example of why I don't check the mail, because nothing I NEED gets sent to me.

Pleading with them and telling them I have no money at all didn't work. They tell me I can make a quick trip to the Santa Monica DMV, pay the $28 fee to re-instate my license, and come back with the paper extending the validity of my license. Oh ya, like I can make it to the DMV SANS appointment and back to the bank or even back to work in an hour...

Turns out you don't need an appointment to renew your drivers license. I filled out some paperwork, got to the window and ask them to run my card through on credit for the $28 to which they replied 'We don't accept credit cards. Only debit cards, cash, or check.' Well, that is just perfect seeing how all I brought with me when I originally left the office to cash the check was my wallet and my cell phone. I don't have any checks on me and my checking account is in the negative, so basically I prayed and somehow my debit card authorized the $28, woo hoo! She hands me my paperwork, whew! Now I can get the fuck out of there...

WRONG! I start walking away and the DMV lady says 'Ma'am, you need to go over there and take your picture.'

What the fuck. I don't do impromptu photo shoots unless I am camera ready. I'm not even going to get into the fact that she called me Ma'am because at 30 years old, officially I am Ma'am and not Miss anymore. I had NO MAKEUP ON. I rolled out of bed Friday morning late, as usual and meant to slap on a little mascara during my commute but forgot. I had not planned to go anywhere but to work and then back home to get ready for my night out. WTF???

Now here I stand at the DMV with nothing but my cell phone and wallet on me, no makeup, chapstick, nothing and there was no negotiating on coming back later to take the picture, I tried. So off I went to take the picture. I looked at myself in the mirror and my face was so shiny that I could have taken some sourdough bread and in lieu of butter, wiped my face with the bread, put some cheese on it, and thrown it on the grill for the perfect grilled cheese sandwich. NOT PRETTY. That will be the picture on my ID for the next 8 years or however long it is until it expires again and nobody tells me.

Needless to say, my drivers license photo is not going to be as famous as it would have been had I known I was taking pictures. Had I known, it would have looked something like Ms. Janice Dickinson's:

My lunch hour was hell on Friday because of this mess. A few things I am SUPER GRATEFUL FOR and repeatedly thanking the sweet baby Jesus for is:

• NO ONE AT ANY OF THE BARS OR CLUBS IN MIAMI NOTICED THAT MY ID WAS EXPIRED. I was not denied entry anywhere. No one noticed or cared.

• The TSA security at LAX and Miami airports, FAILED. They have all these damn rules and regulations yet FAILED to notice my identification was invalid. Again, thank you sweet Baby Jesus for making these people stupid.

My trip would have been RUINED had anyone noticed this during the trip! I actually stressed myself out post-trip about what could have happened. All I wanted to do was cash a check on my lunchbreak and it turned into a god damn scavenger hunt around West LA and me having to go back to the bank after work to cash the check. Of course my check was cashed by the same teller that sent me on the scavenger hunt in the first place, who then lectured me on how anyone could possibly find an expired ID and try to pass it off as real. LAME!

30 Days

Let this post stand as an announcement of the following:

THE RINGLEADER AND MYSELF ARE ABSTAINING FROM ALCOHOL AND FAST FOOD FOR THE NEXT 30 DAYS.*

After reading that Dooce was doing the 21 day Oprah cleanse, I was intrigued and decided I should look into it (Mostly because I'm totally in love with Dooce and want Spidey and I to be just like her and Chuck). However, after looking into this I quickly determined that I was not capable of maintaining a diet that did not allow for alcohol, caffeine, bread, sugar, or animal products. When I relayed this information to The Ringleader she quickly pointed out that I would probably lose more than the 10 lbs I want to lose simply by not drinking. Point for The Ringleader.

The problem is that I am weak when it comes to booze. The only reason I need to pop open a cold one is that it is past noon or that I made it home from work. So obviously I need to be held accountable. Enter The Ringleader, who also happens to be in the home stretch of the Bridesmaid diet. So we are joining forces for a little positive enabling, she has even upped the ante by adding the requirement that we work out at least one day. Wish us luck!

*30 days with the exception of one "slip-up" day we are allowing each other in the event that say I have to go to The Randoms and don't want to look like an idiot saying that I'm quitting drinking.

Bachelorette Party Fun.

How about a round of applause for being a bucket of tits and looking pretty and skinny in Miami! Go me! What a glorious trip it was, South Beach rocks my socks off!

Now, onto a few key notable moments from my trip...for all who are interested, I have some pics to show you of our shenanigans. Click on the links to see the pictures!

Night 1: After getting ready and prepartying, the ladies go out and walk next door to the lounge at the Hotel Victor to chill out, watch the Lakers lose, and have a few cocktails before heading to the Cameo for dancing. Somehow we get talking about blowjobs and marriage and we meet Monica, a nice black lady from Miami Beach. Monica, thought it would be appropriate to pull out her cell phone and show us pictures of her Boo's giant penis. Needless to say, there was truth to the myth about black men and penis size. You learn something new everyday.

Next, we ventured onto Cameo. Within seconds of walking into the club, we were offered a deal we couldn't pass up! Free drinks all night, all we have to do is dance up on top of the bar! DONE! Wow, free drinks and no catch? Meet the bartender who offered us this deal, the canister he is holding is filled with nitrous. End result aka the "catch" - try to display our Britney's.

Night 2: Party at Prive. Just like night #1, the girls got up on top of the bar to dance. In bonus news, prive not only offers the bar top to dance on, they also offer the strategic use of poles to use while dancing on top of the bar. Of course we wore barely there dresses for everyone's viewing pleasure. As for yours truly, I got wasted, wheels came off, and barely made it back to the hotel with hopes and dreams of ordering room service.

Night 4: Yes I know I skipped over night 3 but that is only because it was a tame night. Night 4, we head to Nikki Beach, LEGENDARY for their Sunday night parties. Since this was our last night, we decided to make it count! We met hot boys from Australia and a bachelor party from the Bay Area. The bachelor was begging one of the girls to makeout with him, she reached an arms length away from him and replied "This is how far away from me you will stay." Without naming any names, this is what else happened: The newly crowned Cougar was rolling around in the sand with a 22 year old Brit who had been following us since night 1, the booty shaker had a make out session with Kangaroo aka"If I was just a little older I'd be all up on your shit girl," and someone else (who is currently in an unexclusive relationship with a boy) decided she wanted to channel her inner stiletto by getting hot and heavy with a hottie tattooed boy from the bachelor party. By channel her inner stiletto I mean, lay down on a beach bed, practically bone (in close proximity to the Ringleader a la Stiletto), and show the world her Britney thanks to the tattoed hottie who slipped her panties to the side...Let's just say Hottie's friend the Bachelor said it best when he decided to scream out "Scratch and Sniff buddy!" Post romp, said hottie kept telling me how awesome I was and repeatedly tried to high five me. Said hottie was also offended and couldn't understand why I did not want to high five him.

But WAIT! There's more to night 4!

5am rolls around, we close down Nikki Beach and have to leave. As a group we decide to walk on the beach, about 15 blocks to our hotel. While we are walking along the beach, Miami/Dade County Police roll up on ATV's, we didn't know but they patrol the beach at night. Obviously, they are wondering what 8 girls + random boys are doing wandering the beach at 5:30am. We inform the two gentlemen that we are walking back to our hotel, to which they ask if we would like a ride back. Hmmmm... The bride and two other girls decide to take him up on his offer, the police literally dropped them off on the doorsteps of the Tides Hotel. The rest of us continue to walk back towards civilization. At one point we cross from the sand to the street via this makeshift bridge, and I notice some shadows on said bridge. As I get closer I realize, JESUS CHRIST! It's a fat girl on her knees PUBLICLY giving dome to some random! Miami, land of public dome! I LOVE MIAMI and I LOVE DOME! The best part was that the bachelor screams out "She's fat so you know she knows what she is doing."

The rest of the details are slowly coming in...

NOT LILO

At my Dirty 30th b-day party, remember how we mentioned that Lilo did not get into the jacuzzi in her dress at the Hotel Fig?

Well here is proof that she, in fact, did not do that.

Dear Ringleader

I have confirmed your arrival time from Miami today and am hoping that I can begin monopolizing you time ASAP. You get home at a reasonable hour and I see no reason why you would not want to come to my house and make me chicken parm. Yesterday you said "If I was there I would make you chx parm" I still have that text. I am willing however to meet you half way and go to the Latino Market and purchase Carne Asada which I may even being willing to grill myself. I miss you and I'm not sure Spidey will even remember you.

Xoxox

Lilo

P.S. I followed all Mean Girl posting Guidelines in hopes that it would help my case.

A Special Father's Day Edition Of Dear Prudence

I just happen to come across this today while avoiding getting any work done and it struck me as wrong in so many ways....

dear prudence: Advice on manners and morals.
Love-Child Etiquette
How to accept your cheating husband's out-of-wedlock kid, and more Father's Day Tips.

Are these really the kinds of questions poor Prudie is getting these days? What happened to questions like "How do I arrange the seating at my wedding with divorced parents?" Or "How long should I wait to send Thank-you notes?".

Really the best part of the headline is "...And more Father's Day Tips" Such a cheery way to follow up a headline like "Love-Child Etiquette"! I hope there are tips on paper mache gifts and picking out that perfect tie.
*****

By the way peeps this is our 200th post. I feel like I win.

An Update On the First Week of My Thirties

I made it. I am thirty and possibly even more awesome than ever before. I can't say for sure but I do know that the people do, in fact, heart me. My best friend Tux flew in from Sacramento, she involved all my girls in a project and composed The List That is Top 30 For the Dirty. It was a compilation of all of my best moments from previous Top 10 lists throughout the time my friends have known me. I got to Lilo's house and they had taped up multicolored paper all over her house with each # counting down to #1. It was so thoughtful and re-reading those lists made me realize that I'm way more cool than I thought.

My birthday party at The Fig was freaking awesome. So many people showed up, it was unreal! I had friends fly in from out of town, people driving in from the OC, and boys who LEFT a bachelor party just to come and party with us at the Fig. It was famous and surprisingly there was no drama between any of those in attendance. I have the most amazingly glorious friends one can buy have. They also have the most impecable taste ever! They bought me 5 of my favorite letters ever G-U-C-C-I, in the form of a little black handbag, my favorite form of 5 letters! The moment I slid the bag over my shoulder I instantly felt prettier and skinnier. I am going to see about having it surgically attached to my shoulder.

Lilo was a drunken beat up mess. The random does things like that to her. The funniest thing had to be when she decided that she was going in the jacuzzi, while wearing her famous dress. She literally pulled it up and got in there. Sportin her thong-th-thong-thong-thong. People in other parties really appreciated the display of ass in public, that my friends is just the kind of partying that goes on at a dirty 30. The other thing you do is walk around barefoot carrying your shoes and wake up with the dirtiest and most grimey black feet ever the next day. Welcome to the dirty 30's!

Today is a day I have waited a long time for. I depart for MIAMI for Posh Bride's bachelorette party & my 30th birthday extravaganza. THIS is the reason I have been working so feverishly on my FitMess™ and spending my hard earned $$ on pilates classes. So I could be 30 and prance around in a bikini in SoBe. Well, I'm not quite at my FitMess™ goal, but the good news is that I will drink enough booze to make myself look good enough not to care! I can barely sit still at work let alone do any work because I am SO EXCITED for this trip! It's been a lot of coordinating, planning, and e-mails back and forth to plan the most glorious 4 day bachelorette party weekend EVER and I know that we are going to have an amazing time. I feel as though I went through bridesmaid bootcamp and am now officially a professional bridesmaid. Seriously, put me in a cute bridesmaid dress and hire me to plan your bachelorette party, you will NOT be disappointed!

When I get to Miami at 6am tomorrow, I'm toying with the idea of getting crazy and taking a skinny dip chunky dunk in the ocean before everyone gets to the beach. Hopefully no one breaks out with the harpoon ;)

With that said, I'm prepared to close out the first week of my dirty thirties and say that this is going to be the most amazing time of my life.

The Dirty Thirty Bash In 2 Minutes Or Less

A lot happened Saturday at The Ringleaders birthday bash and if I tried to cover it all I would stop blogging and get into the novel business, so here goes. Maybe someone else will elaborate or maybe they won't.

We arrived at the hotel got dressed and started drinking heavily. Other guests arrived we continued to drink heavily. The Ringleader was given a blue fuzzy tiara that had a blinky light on it which she wore all night and yes we are still friends. More drinking lots of photo shoots. The Ringleader got 5 letters that made her feel skinnier just by having it on her arm. The Random arrived, I got butthurt that he wasn't paying attention to me. We sang Happy Birthday at midnight and The Ringleader flipped us all off. We luv you too. More drinking. Then the wheels started to fall off and The Ringleader yells "Hey Random I LOVE DOME!" I love dome becomes the chant of the night. I got into the hot tub for a photo shoot in my dress because I'm Klassy like that. The bar closes and we try to take the party up to my room but are stopped by security because apparently only registered hotel guests are allowed up. Manage to sneak 15 people up via the stairs EXCEPT The Random who doesn't listen to me. Get a phone call to go down to the lobby to bring The Random up, an altercation with hotel staff ensues The Random is escorted out and I return to the room and throw a tantrum of epic proportions. The Ringleader and I end up passing out in our dresses and make-up sans Vom'ing.

That's how we roll in a nut shell.

I would also like to take this opportunity to give The Hotel Fig a Spidey Slap with a paw that has recently stepped in a pile of poo.

Twitter

Did anyone see Lilo's twitter to the left?

"Woke up next to a bottle of lube and a midget. I had alot of questions, most of which were answered by the empty vodka bottle downstairs."

Do Twitters get more glorious than that?

Must have meant the Random came over (he's the midget).

TWICE in ONE WEEKEND??? The Random is attending my birthday party tomorrow night. DAMN Lilo is gonna get boned 2 days in a row. WHORE!

P.S. Lilo, don't forget to bring the lube to the hotel.

In All My Glory...

About a year ago, some of my girlfriends and I got together at Posh Bride's house for a Ladies Dinner Party. It ended up to be a glorious evening where of course, my wheels came off. At one point in the evening we started having one of those conversations about sex, blowjobs, and wtf we should be doing and when. About 20 minutes into the conversation one of the girls pulled out her camera and took a 5 minute video of me on a SERIOUS rant regarding both subjects, I had no idea she was taking video of it until the following week when bulletins were being posted and reposted all over MySpace. Needless to say, after this video made the rounds I was getting 100's of random friend requests, messages about proper BJ techniques, among other offers for practice. People really love this video and I thought I would share it with you, after all it IS good for a few laughs!

BTW - There was tons of red and white wine, and I was the only one drinking red wine...
See that giant bottle of red wine in front of me? I killed the entire thing prior to this video.

Oh yeah and I don't wish to discuss my flabby arms and the fact that I look pregnant in my Rachel Pally Mexico Dress. This video is old and I have thankfully lost weight doing pilates regularly for the past 6 months.

In case the video is taking long to load or being uncooperative, here is the link where it is much quicker:

http://s81.photobucket.com/albums/j212/cbrydon/?action=view&current=priv006-4.flv

Spidey Slap(s) Of The Day

In an effort to vent my frustrations with life in a less violent way I've decided to start an ongoing blog series called "Spidey Slap of The Day"*

Today's recipients are:

The Mortgage Industry - For being in a state of "crises" and in turn making my days at work unbearably boring.

The Random - 1. For not responding to my texts last week and then suddenly texting me last night with "I got tested. No diseases just letting you know". 2. For following that text up with one inviting me over later and then not responding until 11:45 pm because you "passed out".

My Gynecologist - For telling me during my breast exam that my implants were "nice and very well done". Can we say awkward?

*"Of The Day" does not mean that slaps will be handed out every single day. I also reserve the right to hand out multiple slaps in the same day if necessary.

When A Trip To The Movies Requires a Designated Driver

On Friday night I went to go see Sex and The City with about 10 of my closest girlfriends (BTW I have never seen a whole episode of the show and only knew about 5 of the girls I was with) the movie started at 7:55 pm. We had pre-ordered the tickets so a few of the girls headed to the theater at about 5:30 pm to secure our spots in line, obviously I don't do lines and especially not for movies so I made a stop at Sushi and had a few drinks before heading over around 7 pm. Upon my arrival I was greeted in the parking lot by The Ringleader and another friend of ours, who were on their way to The Ringleaders car. The Ringleader came prepared with an ice chest and a jug of sangria, and those giant Baja Fresh cups to pour sangria into. This my friends was the beginning of the end.

The opening of the theater doors ignited a stampede of women who trampled the poor usher while he yelled something about "NOT RUSHING". I have to give him credit, had it been my job to corral the masses I would have given my boss the finger and told him to fu*k off as I headed to McDonald's for a job application.

Once the movie started, it became evident that The Ringleader was in a sangria induced state of NOT Holding.Shit.Together. Her running commentary was met with numerous shouts of "SHUT UP" from surrounding patrons and her first bathroom trip mid-movie involved slipping and falling in the aisle. However it was when she got up to go to the bathroom for the 2nd time that things got really bad... I followed her out at that point so I have a firsthand account of the verbally abusive Mess that was The Ringleader.

Upon exiting the theater through the front doors she walked down to her car and proceeded to VOM into the planter in front of her car. I got my car out of valet and drove down where she was parked and I parked behind her, to ensure she would not escape.* After a lengthy conversation, I convinced her to let me drive her car to my house where she could stay for the night. This was not without a fight, let me share just some of The Ringleaders expressions of appreciation for me:

- "Your cig is killing me. Get away from me"

- "SHUT UP I can't deal with anything right now. Stop talking to me, I can't make any decisions"

- "Throw the jug away. ANYWHERE. JUST GET RID OF IT, AND THE ICE CHEST TOO. "

- "I'm not ready to move, I can't go anywhere right now and I have things to do tomorrow. "

- "You don't have to stand there"

- "Fine. Whatever. Just don't talk to me" (This was said as she got out of the drivers seat and into the passenger side. Luckily I speak drunk and knew this meant that she was agreeing to let me drive her to my house)

- "What the fuck? This seat isn't electric I don't do cranks. 70 mph is NOT going to cut it"

- "I don't want to be spoken too by you or anyone else at your house and I especially can't have Spidey molestaring me OK? You need to make sure."

- "I'm going to need some clothes, like a shirt that doesn't have puke on it."

Fun times with my BFF after a low key night at the movies. Needless to say I needed a drink so I did what anyone would do at 10:30 pm. I walked about a mile to the bar that my roommate and his friends were partying at and didn't bother to tell The Ringleader I was leaving. The Roomie could not believe that I actually walked that far and proceeded to buy me drinks all night because he felt bad for me. Free booze makes everything better.

*Please note I have also had to do this to Ms. Stilettos as well. When the Short bus rolls up I mean business.